Ah, miracles. The good old days were full of them! Water turned into wine, people walked on water, the dead refused to stay dead, and even inanimate objects like crosses decided they had something to say. And yet, here we are in the 21st century, where the most miraculous thing we’ve seen lately is a potato that vaguely resembles the Virgin Mary going viral on TikTok.
So, what gives? Did the universe get stage fright when cameras were invented? Were ancient people just better at manifesting divine interventions than we are? Or—brace yourselves—were some of these tales just… exaggerated over time?
The Case of the Ever-Growing Legends
History has a funny way of making things bigger, bolder, and way more supernatural as time goes on. It’s like the ancient version of a game of “Telephone”—except instead of your friend saying, “Steve fell off a horse,” 200 years later, people are writing that “Saint Steve tamed the thundering sky-beast with a whisper and ascended to the heavens.”
The earliest Gospel, Mark (c. 70 CE), has Jesus performing miracles, but he’s still somewhat subtle—he heals, exorcises demons, and resurrects one or two people. By the time John’s Gospel rolls in (90-110 CE), Jesus is practically a celestial wizard, performing increasingly dramatic signs, including raising a man from the dead four days after burial (John 11:38-44).
And then there’s the Gospel of Peter, a non-canonical second-century text that goes full Hollywood blockbuster. Jesus exits the tomb towering as tall as a mountain, flanked by two giant angels, and—wait for it—a talking cross follows them out, narrating the whole event (Gospel of Peter, 9:34-42).
If you thought the resurrection story couldn’t get any wilder, you clearly underestimated the Gnostic imagination.
The Missing Firsthand Accounts: No Autographs, Please!
A huge problem with miracles is that the earliest documents don’t come from eyewitnesses. The Gospels were written decades after Jesus’ death, and the letters of Paul (our earliest Christian writings, 50-60 CE) seem oddly unconcerned with Jesus’ earthly miracles. Paul never mentions the Virgin Birth, Jesus walking on water, or even specific resurrection appearances beyond vague allusions.
Even stranger, Christian historian Eusebius (4th century) admitted that many early Christians wrote outright fabrications to make their faith more appealing. He basically shrugged and said, “Well, if it helps people believe, what’s the harm?” (Eusebius, Church History, Book 12).
If you were hoping for a New Testament equivalent of “filmed on location,” sorry—what we got were generations of rewritten traditions, passed down by communities that may have spiced up the details.
The Gnostic Gospels: Where the Weird Gets Weirder
If you thought the biblical miracles were wild, just wait until you hear what the Gnostics were cooking up. The Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Judas, and Gospel of Peter (yes, the one with the talking cross) are extra-canonical texts that didn’t make it into the Bible—probably because they were so bizarre that even early Church leaders went, “Uh, no thanks.”
Some highlights:
- In the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, a young Jesus murders a kid for bumping into him and then later resurrects him to avoid getting in trouble (Infancy Gospel of Thomas, 3:1-3).
- The Gospel of Judas flips the script and portrays Judas as a misunderstood hero who was actually in on the whole crucifixion plan, making him less of a traitor and more of an employee of the month (Gospel of Judas, 56-58).
- The Acts of Peter features talking animals, a levitating Simon Magus, and Peter making a dog deliver sermons (Acts of Peter, 20-21).
These texts weren’t suppressed just because they were heretical—they were bonkers, even by ancient standards.
The “Where Are the Modern Miracles?” Problem
If miracles were truly common in ancient times, why don’t we see them today? Well, we do—sort of. We just don’t see the flashy, undeniable ones anymore.
- Miracle healings? Sure, but they usually involve vague claims like “My back pain disappeared!” rather than regrown limbs.
- Resurrections? The best we’ve got are near-death experiences, which are usually just patients waking up saying, “I saw a light, then I got billed $10,000 for an ambulance ride.”
- Demonic possessions? These have suspiciously declined since psychiatry became a thing.
Funny how miracles used to be spontaneous and obvious—like feeding 5,000 people with a few loaves and fish (Mark 6:30-44)—but now they require extreme faith and subjective experiences.
It almost makes you wonder if ancient people weren’t witnessing miracles so much as writing creative religious fanfiction.
Conclusion: A Case of Holy Exaggeration?
The evidence suggests that miracles didn’t stop—they just got less believable as our ability to fact-check improved.
The earliest Christian texts don’t emphasize Jesus’ miracles the way later ones do, and the further we move from the historical Jesus, the more mythological, dramatic, and straight-up surreal the accounts become.
By the time you hit Gnostic texts, Jesus is zapping people with god-rays, dogs are preaching sermons, and crosses are filing witness reports. It’s no wonder early Church leaders quietly sidelined these stories in favor of the more… restrained Gospel accounts.
If miracles were happening all the time in the past, but suddenly “stopped” once science, literacy, and video cameras entered the chat, one has to ask—were they ever happening at all?
Or did humanity just get better at fact-checking?
Sources:
Elaine Pagels, “The Gnostic Gospels” (1979) – A deep dive into Gnostic weirdness.
The Gospel of Mark (c. 70 CE) – The first written Gospel, least supernatural.
The Gospel of John (90-110 CE) – Jesus levels up his miracle game.
Gospel of Peter (c. 150 CE) – Featuring the talking cross (Text: P. Oxy. 4009).
Infancy Gospel of Thomas (c. 2nd century) – Murderous child Jesus (Codex Sinaiticus).
Eusebius, Church History (Book 12, 4th century CE) – Admitting some early Christians fabricated miracle stories.
Bart Ehrman, “Misquoting Jesus” (2005) – How scribes altered the text over time.